he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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