I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
