woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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