Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
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