i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize