Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
