Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
she looked like the before picture.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
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