There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
