how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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