I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
