Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Randomize
