We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
