I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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