a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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