Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
