So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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