so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
