Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
