my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
