you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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