Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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