i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
