we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
