Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
