I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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