there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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