If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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