i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
