Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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