Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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