it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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