So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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