Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
