He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize