My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
honey bunches of taint.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
