no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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