That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I will be naked everywhere
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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