He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
