The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
