I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
why does every cop we meet know your name?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize