whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
