At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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