Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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