What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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