Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
