Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
there is glitter all over my balls
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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