But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
