Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
