You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
