I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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