Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
