yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
