So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Randomize
