goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
