I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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