Are we in a gay sports bar?
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
