I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
