The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
